Rant #493: Today's My Birthday!

Fifty-four years ago today, on April 28, 1957, I came into this world.

Yes, my condolences to my parents--and my mother in particular--but they wanted me, they got me.

I am pretty sure they wanted a boy as their first child, so I satisfied that need. The last name was going to be passed on to another generation--hooray!

I was the first grandchild and the first great-grandchild in my family. That's a lot of responsibility, isn't it?

And I guess I was better than a pet, because they couldn't get allergic to me, like one becomes allergic to a dog.

But although I didn't need walking, in those pre-Pampers days, whew--I probably needed lots and lots of changing.

And my mom did it all, because my father did not do things like this.

He was a very loving dad, but he refused to change me when I pooped. He brags about it to this day.

Anyway, after thousands of poops now, I am 54 years old, and I don't feel a day over 53 years old, even though I am just that.

It is bleary outside, but I am cheery inside.

I am going to celebrate the day by working. What else can a poor boy do?

Celebration? There won't be one. I would love to have a big party, but it is not in the cards right now.

My wife gave me a kiss this morning and wished me well, and that is all that matters.

I will probably get some gifts tonight after I get home. My parents already gave me some cash, which is a fine gift. And it is green, so it fits into our current environmental concerns.

Who else is born today? Off the top of my head, one of the world's most beautiful and talented actresses, Ann-Margret, comic/late night talk host Jay Leno, the incredibly untalented Jessica Alba, and the equally untalented Saddam Hussein.

Boy, our parents must have been pretty busy to lead up to this day!

And I thank my parents for having the foresight to bringing me into the world. Without them, how would I have gotten here?