Reading PalmsThe third story of the pictured building is the consultation room of a woman whom I will call The Gypsy. In the summer, The Gypsy sits outside in one of two yardchairs and tells fortunes to drunk marks for $5.00 each. Once, on my way to the grocery store, her mother offered to tell my fortune for free. She divined that a 'great weight' had settled on me, blocking my luck. A Very Serious Situation.
This great grey cloud would go away with a candle ceremony, conducted with a Catholic priest's help, and it would only cost me $1,000.00. The money would go in a box, sit on a priest's altar, and be blessed by the saints and the smoke of many candles. My life would be purified and my barriers would crumble. My Luck would Return! Participation was not required. She would take care of everything.
I told her I didn't think so. Finally she decided that $181.00 would be enough to satisfy the candlemaker, the priest, all the saints and leave a few pennies for The Gypsy's Mom. With a discount like that, I figured only one-fifth of that cloud would be lifted, so I told her no thanks. I did pay her $5.00 though. This story cost me a voluntary $5.00, and I can tell it over and over, although, not to the same people twice.
Doubled DownOne week, my husband and I visited New Orleans. We were walking down Bourbon Street, which is of course an inevitable consequence of going to New Orleans. A woman came up to us in the light of the street lamps. She was dressed in baggy jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was not styled and she was neither ugly nor attractive. But the silver on her eyelids glinted in the lights of Bourbon Street. She looked up into my husband's face and breathed,
"Today is your lucky day."
She was mesmerizing. We followed her into a shabby storefront. I swear it was the silver eyelids.
A thin balding man who looked like the biggest loser ever stood behind a cheap counter made of old paneling and Formica. He held a dice cup in his right hand. We had a chance to win a prize. All of the prizes were on shelves along the back wall, which was a scabrous green. All of the boxed prizes were covered in a good half-inch of dust.
We got five rolls of the dice for free. Unbelievable! It really was our lucky day. Or night, really.
The man counted the dice so fast we were sure he was miscounting. We even tried to ask, but he just kept rolling, counting, putting the dice back in the cup. It was a lot of dice. And he was satisfied.
And we were Winning.
Then we had the opportunity to Double Down for two dollars. We had the chance to Double Down again. Finally we were at octuple chances for the prize! Oh, Wow, it was Our Lucky Day! And it only cost Eight Dollars for Eight Chances! We only needed thirty-eight more points!
My husband started to laugh. "No, thanks."
We would have run faster, except we were laughing too hard.
I was afraid to be in New Orleans streets after dark, so I had limited the amount of money in my bag before we left the hotel. We counted up our respective cash after Silver Eyelids and The Counter Man had their chance at it. One of the best $20.00 lessons ever. And hey, we were Doubled Down. Two of us learned it for the price of one.
