Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tarzan & Janie Sue Eat Fried Bananas To Go

1. Oh-kay, the new health bill says we are going to know calories for everything at every chain restaurant with over 20 outlets.  Any chain contemplating an expansion past twenty just hit a barrier to expansion. Any chain of thirty just added an unforeseen, federally-mandated expense that might break them into bits. This may not make perfect sense in a recessionary economy.

2. Otherwise, it's great with me. Many is the time I've eaten a bad something with calorie information (candy bar) over a bad something with no nutrition information (Krispy Kreme doughnut).  I have more ways to count my bad.

3. But people are going to be Shocked and Amazed that that delicious Cinnamon Scone at Starbucks, no bigger than a slice and a half of bread, is 1500-2000 calories. (A slice and a half of bread is 150 calories.) Just apply that shock factor to all pastries and fried chicken sandwiches immediately.

They are still going to order the Scone or  the Chick San.

4. That scone or quick lunch is most people's recommended daily allowance of calories. Nothing but celery (2 calories) and Tic-Tacs (6 calories) for the rest of the day.

5. Texas Women are the calorie-counting Champeens of the universe. Ask me where I'm from. Note I did not say Texas was the founding home of good nutrition, only calorie-counting.

6. In a bold pro-active move, McDonald's has asked Weight Watchers to approve at least part of their menu, and Weight Watchers accepted. Who knew that a shingle of french-fried fish with cheese, tartar sauce, and white bread could pass into dietary rectitude?

Hon, you couldn't make it up. Life gets more like fiction every day. Pass the Tic-Tacs.

7. Photos of Charles Atlas and Bettie Page, don't ask me why. Nothing makes good sense in this post.

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